Burned Out Paradise

I'm done with this again. Sometimes I see things that are funny and I think "perfect for Burned out Paradise!" but I am tired of thinking in blog terms. So now I'll probably just let stories about amusements and Adventures in Step Class bump around in my head.

To distract yourself I will tell you my favorite blogs and you can develop new diversions and obsessions, and then we can all get together and discuss the weird voyeurism of blog-reading (Chris):

1) ULTRAGRRRL www.ultragrrrl.blogspot.com (Hipster haters might want to avoid this site, but I like her and also this is where I found out about the Killers so long ago in early 2004).

2) I KEEP A DIARY www.ikeepadiary.com (This guy is friends with ultragrrrl and it's all funny pictures of he and his friends out boozin', so any discomfort with blog-reading is multiplied by 1000 here. But the captions are wicked funny and it is oddly addictive).

3) CITYRAG cityrag.blogs.com (This can be annoying sometimes with more references to College Humor than I would prefer. But they do a digest of celebrity gossip so you don't have to suffer though Pink is the New Blog. If you're all intense about Jessica and Nick and Britney and Kevin news though, go to Perez Hilton or D-Listed.)

4) GAWKER www.gawker.com (I recommed Friday's "Blue States Lose" where they make fun of party pics from the likes of Cobrasnake and Last Night's Party.)

5) I SOCIAL CLIMB isocialclimb.blogspot.com (Another buddy of Ultragrrrl's but it's a lot about fashion, esp. men's, which I think is interesting. And lately a bunch of pictures of f-ed up Pete Doherty)

6) WONKETTE www.wonkette.com (Snarky DC political gossip. Whatever, I'm from DC...It's in my general constitution to read stuff like this and to use words like consitution).

7) INKEDBLOG www.inkedblog.com (The best site ever about tattooing).

8) BAGHGDAD IS BURNING riverbendblog.blogspot.com (An amazing blog from Iraq, written by a chick)

9) BUNS AGAIN scarletfaith.blogspot.com (My buddy scarlet and her flower arranging, germophobic, lovely ways)

10) GO FUG YOURSELF gofugyourself.typepad.com (red carpet criticisms).

These are not places to improve yourself (with the possible exception of BAGHDAD IS BURNING) but who wants to do that on the internets anyhow?

Later, dudes.

...

My friend Mihaela went to Brazil with her tiny friend Heather a little while ago, and sent me the Shutterfly pictures that Heather took of the trip. Some of the pictures, such as the one above, referred in its caption to a "creepy monkey."

I took one look at that and was like, "That's no creepy monkey, that's a sloth!" which just so happens to be my arch enemy in the animal kingdom.

I think it is so horrifying that she is handling it. And wearing white pants with a pink stripe while doing it, to boot.

Wait-- which is grosser?

I know it is kind of played-out to cite Pete Doherty when espousing a drug-free lifestyle, but CHRIST. Look at this guy.

What's killing him is heroin, but what kills ME is that even when he isn't totally blitzed, he's still ugly! Man, oh man. This guy is not only a testament to the virtues of sobriety, but more so to the power of a rock star to hook a model.

Don't you LOVE how he is wearing a Burberry scarf?!

I got this from my new favorite blog I social climb.

[Flavored Potatoes, your Google search is "Pete Doherty drugs"]

...

Relative to us, South Africa is now a model of inclusive, liberal values:

South Africa's High Court Rules in Favor of Gay Marriage


By MICHAEL WINES
Published: December 1, 2005

JOHANNESBURG, Dec. 1 - South Africa's highest court ruled today that same-sex marriages enjoy the same legal status as those between men and women, effectively making the nation one of just five worldwide that have removed legal barriers to gay and lesbian unions.

From the Time

Ok, I am sure this isn't news to anyone else, but-- I went to cardio jam tonight and learned what Rachel called her "Britney routine" and I swear to god I could not do a single thing other than concentrate on my steps. How in god's name to people sing AND dance? Now I understand why people say things like "She can sing AND dance!" like that's all impressive. It is! I couldn't even LIP SYNC and do this. In fact I got all fucked up just looking at myself once in the mirror. Like, I could basically do the routine, I wasn't all two-left-feet about it, but it took all of my concentration to remember.

Though I have to say it would have helped a lot of Rachel had beat-counted more, or called out the steps like Trevor does in step class.

But anyhow, I am in love with cardio jam. I was even practicing my steps (to a limited degree) in the shower afterwards.

...
UPDATE I have been practicing compulsively in my kitchen.

...

...

Love is stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to pull (with your bare hands) some half-chewed chicken skin out of your dog's mouth so he doesn't get worms from eating crap off the sidewalk.

And doing it even though you have no napkin to wipe your fingers off afterwards.

I'm sure you thought love was "butterflies" or "growing old together" or some bullshit like that. Well, you heard it here first.

I'm sure you cat people have some equivalent.

Speaking of gross (but not love), someone barfed on the downtown N this afternoon right in the doorway. They had to hold the train in the station and "isolate" the car. If you're going to do that, why not aim at the platform instead of JUST INSISDE the train?

...

There is a totally for-real article today about this thing called the "mosquito" which "can be heard by most people younger than 20 and almost no one older than 30."

They are using it to keep teenagers from loitering. This article seriously sounds like a joke. I can't get over it. Check it:

....
So far, the Mosquito has been road-tested in only one place, at the entrance to the Spar convenience store in this town in South Wales. Like birds perched on telephone wires, surly teenagers used to plant themselves on the railings just outside the door, smoking, drinking, shouting rude words at customers and making regular disruptive forays inside.

"On the low end of the scale, it would be intimidating for customers," said Robert Gough, who, with his parents, owns the store. "On the high end, they'd be in the shop fighting, stealing and assaulting the staff."

Mr. Gough (pronounced GUFF) planned to install a sound system that would blast classical music into the parking lot, another method known to horrify hang-out youths into dispersing, but never got around to it. But last month, Mr. Stapleton gave him a Mosquito for a free trial. The results were almost instantaneous. It was as if someone had used anti-teenager spray around the entrance, the way you might spray your sofas to keep pets off. Where disaffected youths used to congregate, now there is no one.

He is considering introducing a much louder unit that can be switched on in emergencies with a panic button. It would be most useful when youths swarm into stores and begin stealing en masse, a phenomenon known in Britain as steaming. The idea would be to blast them with such an unacceptably loud, high noise - a noise inaudible to older shoppers - that they would immediately leave.

...

Excuse me but has anyone been to Payless recently? I used to do all my shoe shopping there when I was in high school because I was a vegetarian and didn't wear leather. I wore fake Doc Martens that were called Juliano's, and bought all my other shoes at Payless. Anyhow, since the early 90s I haven't been back in there. But last week I was killing time, waiting to meet someone who was an hour fucking late, and I popped into the Payless next door to our meeting spot. Holy sheet, I saw some shoes that I have been thinking about ever since then. So I went back tonight and got them, plus one more pair for half price. I got BOGO on the brain!

Anyhow, contrary to my M.O. in high school (as most things are now) it is good to avoid the leather-like shoes, although they do have some that are real leather. They have a nice selection of fabric shoes, little flats and such, that are totally cute.

Also, in TOTALLY unrelated news, I saw Henry Rollins in a "don't do crystal meth" PSA on television the other day. Ha! What the fuck?*
-----------
*(Flavored Potatoes, do a Google Search for "Henry Rollins Black Flag.")

...

...

I realized that I really AM becoming someone who is happiest when I get to bed early and sober, wake up early to take the dog to the park, and get lots of stuff done during the day. I value health and healthy feelings and sometimes get bored by what-I-did-last-night stories. I remember when I was a teenager I thought I would wear black eyeliner and live and breathe Jane's Addiction forever. In my early 20s I thought I would never want to do anything on Friday and Saturday nights but booze it up. Why am I always surprised when I change in spite of myself?

That said, I was noticing yesterday that you can buy stickers and mugs on Ofoto with your photographs on them. I was thinking how funny it would be to take a picture of one of your buddies all sloppy drunk and give it to her on a mug. One of you, watch out at Christmas.

Anyhow, I think I am going to go read my most hated blog now. For some reason these feelings bring out the greek tradegy in me.

...

...

Did you people see this article in the Times today about the new ways that parents are handling post-divorce custody?

There are times in your life when all of a sudden you realize that something is really changing for real. My parents are not divorced, but most of my friends' parents are -- more are than are not. So this article was very interesting to me. First there is the neverending surprise that I still feel over how people do business online. For example, (you should read the article, but let me tell you anyway) there is a website that helps parents keep track of things like schedules and money. That way they can haggle over fight-causing topics online, hopefully in order to avoid those fights. I think that sounds great. It also helps keep you organized, too, I bet ... AND you have a record of all your dealings so no one can try any funny business.

What really blew my mind was the parents whose kids live in the house, and they live elsewhere, alternating days that they stay with the kids in the house. I wonder if other people do that. I know people who really hated (and still do) the double-house shuffle. My friend Lauren eats two Thanksgiving dinners because of it still, and she's 27. I wonder what it takes to pull something like that off. I guess one thing it would require is neither of the parents getting re-married.

One thing I don't get though, is how otherwise intelligent people (experts, the Times, whoever) can be so naive as to think that there is a right and wrong way to handle a troubled marriage. You can't say that divorce definitively harms kids or not, any more than you can say it is "better" for women to work or stay home. You just have to call it like you see it. I mean, it's your family -- you'd think people would have a sense of whether things are working or not.

The best quote I read was a woman who said she knows she is a balancing her life well when she feels equally guilty about neglecting her children and work.

...

I was looking at Style.com just now, and ran across this picture of my favorite model Gemma Ward, all zitty.

Heh.

...

Welcome back from Thanksgiving everybody, ok. I drove to New Jersey yesterday and it took one and a half hours to get across Canal Street to the Holland Tunnel. I had to pee so badly that I thought I was going to have to put on the hazzards and pee on the sidewalk. I made it to Jersey City and got to a Porta-John at the Exxon. Thanks, Tiger Mart!

Anyhow, we had a lovely Thanksgiving in Glen Ridge and I played "take the garbage to the dump" for about 6 hours with my very tidy god-son Brady. Then we read some Richard Scaary before bed.

Today I came back and Beausoleil and I were happily reunited. What a good boy. He had to stay at Eva's Play Pups where he socialized and was a good boy. They gave him a bath and a haircut. He is so soft, he feels like a little duckling.

...

Today I had some very exciting news. I found out that Rachel the Club Strength girl will be teaching CARDIO JAM on Wednesdays! I expressed interested, as I like anything with a jam. Anyhow, she said, "get ready to release your inner Britney."

Sister, I have BEEN ready. I don't think my inner Britney is buried all that deep. I hope she was serious because I am interested in learning the choreography for both the "Oops I did it again" video, and "Slave 4 U."

I am so excited about this, I think it is a good topic to consider while I walk the dog. I think just imagining Cardio Jam will get me through the whole walk. Yes!


Happy Thanksgiving.

...

There is this blog that I like whose comments section is always on fie-yuh. Haters are always writing stuff about how her music taste sucks, she should get a real job, she thinks she's hot shit but she's really not,* and so forth. Anyhow, then erupts big arguments about why in god's name people read the blog if they hate it so much, and furthermore, why do they comment? The same thing happens every day. I am definitely of the "if you don't like it, leave it alone" camp.

But I kind of understand now. Because there is a blog that I hate. I mean, I HATE. It is written by a girl who is so cloying, sentimental and cliche, she makes me itch. She makes me itch like the expression "you go girl!" (of which there is a lot of in her comments) does, or people who say their most favorite activity is to laugh with friends, or curl up with a good book.

I don't have her site bookmarked, but I Google it a few times a week and torture myself. After I am done wallowing in her awful writing, I follow up by reading her "you go girl! I love the way you express yourself!" comments.

I just cannot help it. I only left a comment once, and I kept it pretty tame. I still feel that even if you read someone's blog just to torture yourself, you still shouldn't leave comments about how you think their site is a piece of shit.

But man, I don't know. This girl is going to drive me up a wall. But why do I care? I don't want to hate.

For that reason I won't post the name of it here, but if you want to torture yourself, email me and I will tell you, if you haven't guessed already.



----
*Doesn't that remind you of 8th grade when the main complaint girls had against each other was "She thinks she's so cool, but she's really not" ?

...

..

On Thursday, we met with Denise the Dog Lady for Beausoleil's first therapy session for his separation anxiety. She diagnosed him as being "high energy" and "compulsively social" (he must get that from his father, cuz it ain't from me). Anyhow, part of her recommendation was more active socializing time with other dogs. So last night I went to bed early, and sprang up this morning at 7:30 and took Beausoleil "Teeny Frank" Francis to Prospect Park to go of-leash.

I was very nervous about this because Beausoleil is not terribly obediant. He listens sometimes, but not when he is fired up, which is when he is most likely to run off. Most people look at me like I am crazy when I say I am scared to take him off-leash at Prospect Park, because the dog area is all deep in the park and how could he run away?

But I am not kidding when I tell you that my dog can HAUL ASS. I know he looks like this silly Cocker Spaniel, and he is, but he also runs like a motherfucking cheetah.

Nevertheless, we gave it a shot.
This is Beausoleil frisking with a poodle. Somehow I managed to take a picture where you can't see the 6,000 dogs and people that were there. My puppy was SO happy.



Another quality that he does not get from me is that he is very socially forward. Beausoleil chases all dogs, big and small, and does not wait to be chased. He is up in everyone's face (or ass, whatever). And he'll hump anyone. This is him in action.



I wish I had a picture of when he was trying to sniff a Great Dane's ass and he couldn't even reach it, because the dog was so gigantic. Anyhow, my puppy was very happy and got his paws all dirty. See him? He's like "YES!"



After awhile I got tired of worrying that he would run away, so we went home. Now he is sacked the fuck out, which is hopefully how he will remain for awhile, especially when I have to go after his ears, which are all full of leaves and burrs and crap.

...

For those of you who don't read Time Out New York, I am reproducing for you here their top ten touch down celebration dances, which is fucking funny.

1. Pretending to chainsaw goalpost (with a football)

2. Nazi goose step (across endzone)

3. Humping goalpost (followed by miming having a cigarette)

4. Bowling helmet (into goalpost)

5. Three stooges routine (trying to spike ball but stuck to hand, then using foot to pry off, followed by curly slap dance c. 1943)

6. Guy stuck in glass box (busting out then performing the prince from Swan Lake)

7. Squatting (with football dropping from groin)

8. Setting up book signing (in end zone)

9. Waiter (offering ground pepper)

10. Strip tease (mimicking slow glove removal and fan dance)

...

I heard again online about this ass-enhancing plastic surgery that people get. That is so funny to me, because as someone who is two parts J.Lo and one part Beyonce, I can't relate to this "I have no ass" business.

...

...

I love Oprah. I don't care what you say, I do. I have even been known to invoke the CHURCH of Oprah. I am not a sucker, she is amazing. There is a nice article about her in the New York Times today.

Now, do I love her enough to get the 20 years of Oprah DVD?

...

...

1. Dog breath: Well, Beausoleil's only. I don't want to smell your dog's breath.

2. Jehovah's Witnesses: There are these nice ladies that stroll around my neighborhood on weekend mornings and say hello to me in a very polite and friendly way. I think they are Jehovah's Witnesses. I always like to see them and say hello.

3. People who wear a lot of perfume: I don't like to be choked by it, but I do like what most people would consider to be "too much" perfume. Or cologne. I like it when you can smell someone's signature scent even if they have already passed by you. I don't like it when it's covering up other shit though, like cigarettes. Nasty!

...

...

I can't stand how you chew your little toothpick, shopping for a Rolex and sipping champagne. Please stop. It's too much for a simple girl like me.

There is a nice article about Madonna in the Times today. Down with the buttoned-up English lady!

A lot of the time I don't like reminiscing too much about the 80s, because being a kid was so uncomfortable for me. But I do like to remember the very first music video I ever saw, which was Madonna's "Borderline." It blew my mind. I couldn't believe her lime green ankle socks. I saw the video after school on a network music video program called "HOT." The name of the show was written diagonally across the screen in hot pink, with a jaggedy underline. Yes!

...

...

Do you ever think you're doing ok, and then realize to your horror that you're acting creepy or otherwise socially out-of-line? I am not asking hypothetically. I was totally creepy at the gym last night and now I am humiliated.

I sometimes take a kick-boxing class which is taught by this woman who makes all sorts of silly faces all through class. Usually they are like a child or pot-smoker trying not to laugh. I forgot that when you look at someone in a mirror, they can still see you, so I spent the entire hour staring at her (and really-- I mean STARING) trying to figure out the whys and wherefores of her crazy faces. She caught my eye and later said something about how we should be watching our own feet. Now instead of her being the crazy one, I am. And creepy, too. That sucks.

Speaking of creepy, I totally have a crush on one of the trainers, and apparently so does some m4m on Craigslist. I hate to break it to him, but I totally saw Michael kissing some girl on the stretching mats.

Michael the NYSC trainer ( Park Slope NYSC ) - m4m - 27

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-110344088@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-11-10, 5:25PM EST


i hope you see this because im too shy to actually talk to you in person
your name is Michael...you're a trainer at the Park Slope NYSC
you're white and have sorta short brown/black hair and you're about 5'8 (something like that)
anyway, i go there and see you a couple times a week
i'm mid 20's, jock body green eyes
if you read this email me back because if you dont ill never say hi in person
:(

...

Witty Buddy Kirsten said that she would match the Rhodesian Ridgeback with CostCo.
Ha!
Thanks Kirsten, something about a dog named for a colonial African nation says "CostCo" to me, too.

...

...

Ok my mom is now making daily references to firing her nine. She even explained it to her 60 year old lady friends. I told her about this commercial they have on Power 105 where you call in and bitch about stuff or make confessions or call people out on the air. They have this commercial for a morning show, where they go, "Are you a homo thug on the down low?" [you know my mom loves that] and then they go on to say "don't air out the nine, air out the line!"

So today my mom's watercolor students were pissing her off (one of them cried in class and another spilled white out all over herself) so my mom called me up and was like, "I had to air out the nine in class today."

Mm-hm.
...

...

I spend lots and lots of time walking Beausoleil, and usually I am walking him alone. I don't have an iPod, so that gives me heaps of opportunities to think about stuff. Instead of doing useful things like organizing my life or pondering school, I come up with other topics, "Coffee Talk" steez. Discuss.

Like lately I have been thinking about stores we all know, and which dog corresponds with which store.
For example, Labradors are the Gap. They are popular all-purpose dogs that everyone has and everyone likes.
Or Jack Russel Terriers: Abercrombie and Fitch. Both are youthful and have mass appeal, but are also sort of irritating in that they have a special "thing" you have to deal with. Like with Jack Russels, you have to be okay with the fact that they do backflips 23 hours a day. With Abercrombie, you have to be okay with their homoerotic advertising (aces!) and racist, sexist teeshirts (boo).

I have to think more on this. I am only choosing common dogs that everyone knows. I am not sure there is a corresponding store for Rhodesian Ridgebacks.

...

...

Yesterday my mom said something about firing her nine in the air.
Granted, it was in reference to getting my dad to get off his keyster and do some housework, but still.

...

In other news, today in Step class Trevor had us start in a squatting position and then jump up in the air, over and over. Try it. It sucks.

PS- That is the kind of thing that Madonna does gracefully on stage 8 times in a row. I know because I saw her in concert in 2001 and she did that and I counted. So say what you will about her, but her thighs are unholy.

...

...

So I am doing work in COMFORTZONE, the crappily named but very nice new coffeshop around the corner from me.

I am sitting sort of near the restroom and there was a woman in there with her toddler for about 10 minutes or so! A crowd developed waiting for the single, unisex restroom, and started getting restless, as people who have to pee are wont to do. A few folks knocked on the door -- forcefully but not rudely. The lady inside was all "YES! There is a child in here!" all peeved. When she came out she had a major bee in her bonnet.

She turned to one lady who had been waiting and was like, "You are a grown up, you're supposed to be able to wait, I had a child in there!" and the lady who was waiting pointed out that she herself had three kids, but even for grownups, waiting 10 minutes for a public bathroom was a pretty long time. (Especially when you've been drinking coffee, I might add.)

It got all heated, and culminated with the mom saying "Hasn't your kid ever had to take a SHIT BEFORE?!" all loudly. I was horrified by the coarseness of it all. I really feel that it is a tough thing to be a mom out and about, and people should be sensitive to the extra requirements of "life." But there is also a righteousness where people with kids act like the world should revolve around them. Like, "Oh, a CHILD is in there!" like it is the baby jesus himself or something.

...

I watched Gus Van Sant's "Last Days" on DVD last night. The two most important factors for me in the experience were
1) I am not a "film" person at all
2) I really, really love Nirvana

Last night I was feeling all patient and in the mood where I was able to participate in and think about the movie. Usually, I am not a Gus Van Sant sort of girl. But hey, you know what? I really really liked Last Days.

Here's the deal: there is no Courtney, so forget about that. You don't see him shooting up, so forget about that, too. The movie is obviously about Kurt Cobain -- you see the famous sweater above, and it's full of all sorts of Kurt-isms -- cross dressing, messy blond hair, lots of flannel shirts, his muttery growl. Actually, pretty much all he does is mutter and growl, all through the movie. They didn't play any Nirvana, but if they were going to have a song to match the tone, it would probably be "Pennyroyal Tea" -- though that might be too upbeat.

Anyhow, though it is clearly about Kurt Cobain, it is fictionalized. There is a Dave Grohl character, but you can only really tell because he has the same haircut. There is no Kris Novoselic. Though there is a gay sex scene between the Dave Grohl character and some other guy! The last matching detail is the greenhouse where he dies, a small house out back. It's interesting to consider why some details were chosen from real life and why others were made up.

Like I said, I'm no film person so I am not going to say much about the cinematography or anything, but I did watch all the special features about the making of the movie, and I watched with interest.

I think the main thing I got from it is a new, and probably more nuanced way of thinking about what happened. The conventional wisdom has been diluted down to an explanation that is one part his parents' divorce, one part angst over fame, one part drugs and one part rock and roll cliche. This movie reminded me of the exceptional isolation of a person who is suicidal, and that isolation is squared by heroin. I think that trying to rationalize a person in that place is impossible. I'm not sure I can really explain what I mean, but I would recommend the movie and then maybe you'll see.

A+, Gus!

...

PS - Plus I have to say: it totally cracks me up that Michael Pitt is the same guy who played Henry, the freshman football player who lusted after Jen on Dawson's Creek. I know that since then he was in that orgy movie, but still. He's still Henry. Sorry, Pitt!

...

My friend, the Californiafied Sabrina sent me a link to this article L-ification which is about gentrification in (mercifully) Williamsburg. Even if you have thought a lot about and even wrung your hands over gentrification already, I would recommend this article from New York Magazine. My barometer for (as they say in the biz) "a good read" is whether I put it in my bag when the subway arrives at my stop, or whether I keep reading and obnoxiously drift and weave along the platform's edge toward the turnstile. This was a total Drift and Weave Platform Read. Plus, it had the perfect barometer for gentrification: the availability of wine, soymilk and yoga.*

Anyhow, extra snaps to Sabrina for discovering this all the way from Long Beach, home to Snoop and Nate Dogg. Whenever I pick up New York Magazine in the doctor's office, it is boring. Whenever people alert me to articles inside, it is fantastic. I feel like it's someone sticking out their tongue behind your back, only to get all poker-faced when you spin around.

Sometimes I am not sure who the culprit is with gentrification. I mean that earnestly. I am willing to admit it is me. But I wonder: is it the builders? The landlords? The tenants? The people who start selling soymilk? What exactly are you supposed to pinpoint between Williamsburg ten years ago and W'burg today? Or Park Slope for that matter. I just wonder because I have very mixed feelings about Park Slope. I am the yuppie, I know. But on the other hand, I keep my dirty apartment because I could never afford to move within this neighborhood. All rents are out of my price range. I moved here four years ago. I still pay a lot. I wonder: if old-time Park Slopers could have their way and get me to move out, where would I go? I would go to some other pre-gentrified Brooklyn neighborhood. It's not like I can afford the West Village.

Also, part of the reason I initially liked Brooklyn is because I get sick of all the fabulousness of Manhattan. But christ -- I am sick to death of all the cutesy boutiques and fancy-pants restaurants. I would be happy if it was JUST wine, soymillk and yoga. But seriously: my parents have several times clipped articles from the New York Times and the Washington Post (for christ's sakes) about how 5th ave in Park Slope is the new Spot for shopping and dining. God. You can be sure none of the restaurants end in apostrophe-S.

In other neighborhood news, there is this little boy that lives up the street who looks about 7 or 8. I see him a lot when I walk the dog and he is waiting for the school bus. He really likes Beausoleil and always wants to pet him. He is a very sweet kid, but I think there is something a little off about him. He seems sort of slow, and when it comes to stopping and petting the dog, he is definitely slow. But he so sincerely wants to that I always stop.

Except today, I just wanted to get going so I saw him and crossed to the other side of the street. Right away in my head I told myself that I did that so that the dog would be walking on the side where he wouldn't be tempted to pee all over the garbage bags, which I feel is disrespectful to the garbage collectors. I knew it was a lie though! Anyhow, I was walking along and I hear: "Hello! Hello!" and I was like, Oh God, and ignored it. But then I glanced over and the kid is earnestly waving at me from across the street, all happy. Man oh man, was I busted for being a jackass.

Sometimes you just have a feeling about a person: I think that intellectually there may be something a little not-quite-all-there with this little boy. But I also feel that he is a very sincere and loving person. He adores Beausoleil and is so unabashed about approaching us, and it is different from the usual Tasmanian-devil type enthusiasm of other children his age. His father, who waits for the bus outside for him, is a polite but reserved person. Sometimes I worry that the boy is emotionally repressed by this environment.

Fuck, and here I was crossing the street to avoid him. I think my karma is all fouled up today.

----
* I realize that I used the word "barometer" twice in there, but I really don't think I had a choice.

...

...

I know you people like all jokes all the time here at Burned Out Paradise, but I have spent some time reading blogs from Iraq and I thought maybe you would like to, also. Baghdad is Burning is pretty amazing. I haven't read enough to figure out who writes it, though I know a woman is the author. She writes better in English than many, many American bloggers. Present company excluded. No, just kidding, relax.

Also, her 9-11-05 reflections really blew my hair back. Her memory of it starts out just like many people's do here: phone call from loved one saying turn on the tv, crazy footage of the twin towers, a whole lot of "what the fuck?" etc etc. But then she breaks it down.

...

Thank god Halloween is over. All the parents in my neighborhood dress up when they take their kids out for trick-or-treating, which I find not only annoying, but pathetic. Also, a lot of the kids have pathetic costumes. It annoys me to see some kid in a sweatsuit wearing a crappy mask with a big bag of candy. I wish those kids would at least cut some eyeholes in a sheet and be a damn ghost. I did that once; you do have to watch out walking up steps. My step instructor Trevor (I think) gave us candy after class, which was nice, and told us a funny story about his friend's car getting egged. The friend saw the eggers positioning their weapons but was on a one-way street with no way to turn around, so he had to plow through, and got totally bombed.

Also I saw a kid whose costume was a blue bandana wrapped Tupac style around his head, and some sort of plastic club. He looked about 6. Maybe he was a hybrid Crip/LAPD? I don't even want to know.

Today Beausoleil has a cough so I am unable to think about anything else (well, his cough and Halloween). We have to go to the vet. I can't listen to his raspy little doggy breaths one more second. We have to go see Dr. Salas, my adorable 21 year old vet.

Also, I think my ass is getting bigger and beginning to move independently. Damn you, Trevor, for giving me a mini Krackle after class.

Later, dudes.

..

"The great thing about being out of public office is that you can say whatever you want. The downside is that nobody cares anymore, but at least you can say it."

"It's tough to vote for someone who you think is scared of you."

About the right, and dirty politics:
"If you don't want to fight for the future and you can't figure out a way to beat these people then find something else to do."

"Why can't we talk about it? Because political ads turn every player in this game into a 2 dimensional cartoon rather than a 3 dimensional person."

About Walmart
"I think on balance they have done more good than harm but I think that they .... most of the harm they did is like most of us do. One of the great problems with every organization is that they keep on doing what works till they break the system that lifted them up. ... but when Kmart was buying 45% American goods, Walmart was buying 55%."


From the Texas Book Festival, Saturday 10-29-05

...

This morning I stopped at the farmer's market on 5th avenue and 3rd street while I was walking home from the gym. The vegetable stand is run by a young woman who is central or eastern European. She is really nice and aces all around, except she has this annoying habit of saying "pesos" to anyone she thinks is Hispanic. This is a new trick that she thought up just this fall, and she smiles like she thinks it is all clever. Anyhow, she said it to some guy today and he said, "What? I'm Japanese, not Mexican!" hahahahaha.


...

There is an interesting article about Jay-Z in the Times today. I know that citing the Times for any cultural item more cutting-edge than the Metropolitan Museum of Art is risky bidness, but I still thought this was an interesting article. Also I liked the picture, above.

But I think serious hip-hop/music people have mixed feelings about Jigga, too. Kind of like how art people have mixed feelings about Albert Bierstadt, Andrew Wyeth and Norman Rockwell. Or literary people have mixed feeelings about John Irving.

It's one thing to sample, it's another thing to do little more creative than find a new, fun way to re-package greatest funk and soul hits of the 70s.

On the other hand, I never switch the station when Jay comes on the radio.

Oh, and in the article I liked the snarky comments about Kanye West. I like Kanye, but the Times noticing that he wasn't street enough for the crowd at Power Jam was pretty fucking funny.

...

Dudes everywhere will deny its existence, but I present to you EVIDENCE OF THE MAN CRUSH, kindly provided to me by c.m. Bill. Behold our email of this afternoon:
________________________________________________________________
Subject: RE: your man crush
Date: Fri, 28 Oct 2005 16:23:14 -0400
From: "Bill" View Contact Details   Add Mobile Alert
To: "julia"


I'm convinced I'm in love with him.

-----Original Message-----
From: julia
Sent: Friday, October 28, 2005 4:18 PM
To: Bill
Subject: your man crush

Too bad you're not at home like me because Clooney is on Oprah which I
am watching with one eye while I edit a paper. I am all giggling at
his jokes like he's here in the room or something. That guy is f-ing
funny.



.....

...

I found these fun things on Daily Kos, who I think got them from someone else, but whatever.

So one fun thing about my photography seminar is that there is a girl who used to work at the Times and gives the straight dope on the gossip over at the paper. I'm not talking "editor xyz is such a jerkoff" it's more along the lines of who's-hot-and-who's-not.

So apparently photojournalists are the new rockstars and there's nothing that the Times PYTs love more than a hot dude with a camera. According to my source -- we'll call her Chris -- the hot piece of ass over at the paper is one Tyler Hicks.


I mean, look at this guy. Can you imagine being THIS guy AND being a hot photojournalist? I mean that's like shooting fish in a barrell!

The best part was that when Chris was telling us about the white hot ways of Tyler Hicks, she started fanning herself. Our professor reminded her that she just got married, so as she tried to compose herself, she tossed her coffee all across the table (all over my library books actually). Then everyone laughed and she got totally fucking flustered. Yes!

...

...

So my friend Emily just emailed me that she was browsing on the Wilson's Leather website, looking for a white leather jacket (more on that later) and found this:



I think my heart just skipped a beat. God, I mean I would way rather have this (DID YOU SEE THE INSIDE?) than an iPod for 250 bones. And for those of you who don't know me, rest assured there would be NO IRONY when I wore it.

Now, in other news: my friend Emily who is determined to wear white leather.... I mean words cannot express how much I love this. And believe me people, she will. Because when Em is on a quest, she. does. not . fuck. uh. round. The thought that if somehow the world could have aligned itself such that I would not have become friends with her makes me panic a little. Is it shallow to love someone because they want to wear white leather? It's not the only reason, after all.

...